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June 3, 1999
Hawaii to Tarawa Voyage, Update #32
Day 31. Thursday, 3 June 1999 0333 GMT
Wind ENE 3-4. Heading 195M.
Latitude: 11deg 29.473N
Longitude: 171deg 12.132W
Today a near perfect pedaling day; brisk wind and 10-15ft swell from the ENE, edging Moksha along with gentle nudges to her port side. The balloon-shaped clouds I made mention of a few days ago are back also, assisting greatly in absorbing some of the sun's relentless energy. Moksha is a fine craft to be pedaling in conditions like these - slipping effortlessly up and over the belly of each roller as if it was all down hill from here to Oz.
After exactly a month of being alone out here, I got to thinking this morning about the differences between the other voyages with Steve, and how accurate my expectations were about this one. There are obviously pros and cons. But overall I have to say that due if nothing else to the very nature of Moksha's cramped design - as both Steve and I suspected - being solo has more advantages:
Cons:
1.TIME: Contrary to my expectations, time is even tighter being alone. I did not appreciate just how many hours I would have to put in on the pedals just to keep moving, and especially trying to make ground south against the westerly flow of wind and current. If anything, the regime I have now is even tighter and stricter than before. No spare time hardly for even writing a journal let alone other 'extra-curricular' activities. Not having someone else to share the chores - like cooking, navigating, writing the updates - really takes time out of the day.
2.SOCIAL INTERACTION: I've got the point of not only talking to myself for conversation but also striking up arguments and debates with the cutlery and a wooden serving spoon. The fish under the boat get a good ranting-to every now and then as well.
3.PHOTOS: Taking pictures of myself has limited appeal.
Pros:
1.SLEEP: Getting a full night every night makes a world of difference.
2.SCHEDULE: Even though I'm more tied down that I thought I'd be, it's still nice to have free reign over this little space, taking a break whenever I want and deciding sometimes to juggle my day's activities around to keep things fresh. When there's someone else on board, the routine is set in stone from one day to the next.
3.SINGING + ACTING CRAZY: Having someone sitting 2 ft away can be a little intimidating while trying to perfect Alpine yodeling. I'm playing guitar a lot more this time and often bawl out tunes while I'm pedaling to keep going. Singing has an amazing ability to lift ones spirits.
Loneliness has actually not been a problem. It felt a little strange the first couple of nights being asleep without someone else on watch, but this has been less of a problem that I thought it would be. Perhaps the most striking thing of all is just the unique experience of being alone on such a vast expanse of emptiness. Even when there is only one other human being nearby, there is still a sense of safety in numbers of one's own species. But being alone, 1,000's of miles from land, civilization and everything that is familiar, I feel extremely small and insignificant. But rather than being overwhelmed, or made to feel inferior in any way, it is actually a very positive feeling of 'right place' in the order of things. Inner qualities such as humility and empathy have a chance to rise unhindered to the surface. Feeling compassion toward all things seems easier out here than it does on land. I don't believe there is a word to describe this 'state of being' in the English language, it is so alien to the egocentric way we normally have of perceiving ourselves. But for now I'll just say that being lost like a needle in a haystack feels pretty fine.
CLASSROOM EXPEDITION - ACTIVITIES:
MOKSHA'S CRABS:
Can you put forward a theory of how the brown coloured crabs I found living underneath Moksha came to be there (see yesterday's report), bearing in mind we launched the boat into the water the morning of the departure and left almost immediately.
ENVIRONMENT:
In the last paragraph of the main update I mentioned about the ocean being a very special place for me - for a number of reasons.
Do you have a special place that you go when you need to be alone or that feels right to you? Without necessarily disclosing where this place is, describe in a few lines what this place means to you and why it is special. If you do not have such a place already, think of somewhere in your local community that you might go - that would be 'special' to you - and describe what it might mean to you and why it would be special.
Jason Lewis,
The Moksha motor
Posted on June 3, 1999 3:15 AM