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June 29, 1999
Hawaii to Tarawa Voyage, Update #57
Day 57. Tuesday 29 June 1999 0246 GMT
Wind SE - 3 knots. Heading 210M.
Latitude: 02deg 35.093N
Longitude: 179deg 10.906W
Of the 10 miles south that I thrashed out yesterday, the current deducted three last night. That left me with 7 miles good from a 24hr day. 7 miles. It's a joke. At this rate - with 500 miles still to go - I'll be celebrating the new millenium out here.
Luckily I - or rather a part of me - sees it as a joke also, and as further testimony to my growing insanity (characterized by mad outbursts at the fishes, manic giggling fits at the ridiculous GPS read outs etc.) It is a fragile balance though, born more from hitting the bottom of the barrel morale-wise than any conscious spirit rallying of my own free will. But that's the interesting thing about hitting the bottom of the barrel - I always find a little bit of extra something with which to keep on going. There has to be, otherwise mankind wouldn't have made it this far in evolution.
However, something has to shift or give way for me to get out of this counter-current. I feel like I'm trying to claw my way out of a giant hole in the ground with slick, muddy walls. Every yard I purchase toward freedom, I slip back down again into the mire. Like snakes and ladders. Except this is not a game anymore. And I'm actually rather tired of it.
To put the icing on the cake I ran out of reading material today. So, no music and no books. This is a scary thing. Not so much because of boredom, but more for the fact that I am now fully at the mercy of my own mind.
Jason Lewis,
The Moksha motor
Posted on June 29, 1999 2:22 AM